I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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