i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
