No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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