it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
pray to the hookup gods
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
