did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
