What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
