we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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