its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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