once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize