New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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