Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
