Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
