U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
