Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize