chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
