i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
