Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
