you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
