I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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