What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
