She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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