i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
