"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
