he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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