Yo dont text me then not text me
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
