I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
