When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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