Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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