Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize