new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
