So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
