i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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