No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
