She's JV to your varsity
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
