So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
