no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
