My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Randomize
