its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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