I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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