My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
