Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
did you get engaged???
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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