I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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