p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
