...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Randomize