Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
