Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
