I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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