i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think I sprained my soul last night
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
