Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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