i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
