you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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