Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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