I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
