just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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