i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I want to have your abortion
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
