Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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