There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
