Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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