Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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