so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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