VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
