it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
