she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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