you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
