if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
