Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She needs sedatives and a leash
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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