I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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