no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
