Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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