Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
