my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
